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We may not know much about him as a person, but we know he’s hilarious, and that’s enough to make a striking first impression.

“We come outside and we see my car’s on fire,” Jake continues.

Then she explains in vivid detail what will happen if you don’t answer her texts.

“I will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o’clock in the morning crying and trying to break in.” Points for honesty?

These side-splitting online profiles can be witty, crazy, or just plain stupid, but at least they’re memorable. A lot of guys paint a picture of their ideal date — dinner, movie, makeout session, etc.

But one 22-year-old single took this trope to ridiculous and glorious levels on his dating profile.

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